Manifestation, Abundance and Being Specific

I had to laugh this morning. I got an email from my bank telling me I had a new letter to read in my account. That wasn’t the funny part, by the way. It actually struck fear into me because things have been a little tight lately, and with my being not 100% physically at my best, it’s been a stressful time.

A black and white image of hands counting coins.

But no. I logged into my account, being very brave, expecting some kind of rapping of the knuckles kind of thing about overdrafts and charges. Instead, it was a letter saying that, between 2016 and 2017, I had been charged some fees on my account which were legitimate fees, but the bank hadn’t let me know beforehand. This meant that they have to pay them back, and I would be receiving either a bank transfer or a cheque for £47.

That’s what made me laugh. Now, ‘free’ £47 is not something to be sniffed at. That’s like 47 tumblestones at my local crystal shop. What made me laugh was that I’ve been focusing so hard lately on manifesting abundance, manifesting money and opportunities that I FORGOT TO BE SPECIFIC.

We talk about specificity a lot in manifestation because the Universe a) will give you what you ask for (in this case: SOME money) and b) has a sense of humour. So instead of giving me what I was really thinking I needed (business opportunities to come through and so on), Spirit gave me… some money. £47 by the 15th of November. Thanks, Universe!

A glass jar spills pennies onto a table.

Okay, so why do we need to be specific when we’re talking about desires and manifestation? It’s because manifestation all works on energies; specific, calculated energies. What we put out into the world is what we get back. So if we put out wishy-washy, half-assed intentions, we’re going to get back wishy-washy, half-assed results. We’re going to get exactly what we asked for.

Two people’s hands caress a baby’s feet. On the baby’s toes are the couple’s wedding rings.

So, try this. Instead of writing/thinking/saying, “I am grateful for the money that comes to me”, say, “I am grateful for the £5,000 that I receive in the next 14 days from a new client contract”. Specificity. What, when, and how. I’m not saying that I can 100% guarantee you that you’ll get £5,000 in the next 14 days from a new client, because Spirit STILL likes to play around sometimes to teach us lessons. Not in a malicious way, in a learning and healing way. Maybe that £5,000 comes to you in a different way. Maybe it comes after 15 days. I don’t know. Manifestation is like anything else – we have to practise.


Instead ofTry…
“I am grateful for the love which finds me”“I am grateful for the strong, kind and wonderful partner that the Universe is sending me this month.”
“I am ready to receive what I deserve”“I am ready to receive the blessing of the promotion I have worked hard for and deserve at my annual review”
“I am abundant”“I have all the money, friendship, love and stimulation that I need in my life.”

So clear your mind, set your CLEAR and DEFINITE intentions, and manifest away, abundant babes.

Blessings,

xxK

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Mercury Retrograde: A Basic Guide to the F*ckery

You may have already seen the references. You may already have seen the memes. So what the hell is Mercury Retrograde and why is everyone freaking out about it so much?

What is Mercury Retrograde?

Okay, so basically this means that Mercury appears to change direction of movement. It’s only an illusion – Mercury doesn’t actually start going backwards. But traditionally and in Astrology, this tends to mean that a whole bunch of things get f*cked up, including:

  • Travel
  • Communication
  • Technology
  • Electronics
  • Clear thinking

Okay, so it looks like a planet is going backwards and my flight’s going to get delayed?

A sign on a train platform floor reads, “MIND THE GAP” in yellow lettering.

Maybe. But that’s not the worst part of Mercury Retrograde. See above: communication.

Communication during Mercury Retrograde

A young child screams through some rope play equipment.

Have you noticed that you might be a little more … agitated than usual? Maybe a little tetchy? Easily triggered by things that are probably silly? Maybe you and your family/partner/cat/dog/neighbour are bickering more than usual. This is all the f*ckery that comes with Mercury Retrograde. You can’t think clearly. You feel stressed out, and anxious, and maybe even angry.

During this time, it’s super important to take deep breaths and remember that this is all an illusion. You are being blinded by the bullsh*t that is Mercury Retrograde. Your communication is off, your brain is a little bit foggy and you’re not thinking clearly. So, no, that person did not intentionally and maliciously ‘steal’ your parking space. They probably did not even see you. Even though you were indicating. They’re probably in their own head, wondering why their partner yelled at them because they got the wrong brand of bird seed. See? M.R. bullsh*t. So take a deep breath, and send a blessing their way. They need it.

When does this F*ckery begin?

A person looks very stressed. A dropped ice cream is on the ground next to them.

The bad news is, it’s already begun. Well, the pre-Retrograde. That began on October 11th. Mercury turns Retrograde on … Samhain. Halloween. Yes, on Halloween. This one’s in Scorpio. Here’s a handy guide on how to handle that from Allure. Basically, this article describes the pre-Retrograde period as being similar to PMS, so you get moody and tetchy and stressed out and generally feel like sh*t.

When does it end?

Wednesday, November 20th. Mark your bullet journal, witches.

Is there any good news, or should I just go and hide?

That’s hilarious. We can’t all go and hide for a month, regardless of how nice that might sound. But the good news is, yes, there is good news.

A golden frog statue meditates on a rock by some water.

This is a time for beginnings and endings, death and rebirth. Which means we can take advantage of this tempestuous time to cast off old (bad) habits and focus on our futures and dreams and desires. We can kick nasty exes to the curb (oh yeah, they show up during M.R., be warned). We can take leaps of faith and embrace the spirit of change for the better. It’s a great time to work on your manifestations.

A black and white photograph of an old dial-up telephone.

Pro tip: just make sure you’re sending your emails to the right people and you’re not texting about someone TO that someone. As my Insta friend, Emerald Crown, so wisely puts it in an excellent video she posted – keep your eyes opened and your mouth SHUT.

Blessings, and good luck!

xxK

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Coming Out of the Broom Closet

You know, it’s kind of funny for me to be talking about coming out of the closet at the age of 33. I came out as gay at about 18, and it seems like a lifetime ago. Now, I don’t even think about it, although I do have to constantly correct people who don’t know, and who assume that my partner is a man (poor Jessie).

An illustration of a person riding a broom.

But coming out as a Witch is something I perhaps held a little more hidden shame in. Don’t get me wrong – I am not ashamed to be a Witch. It’s just that it’s not something that comes up daily, despite the fact that I’m constantly banging on about crystals and planetary alignments, incense, meditation and crystals.

An old wooden cupboard is open and empty.

After I started this site, I got a message from someone I’d worked with previously, saying that she hadn’t realised I was the One Boss Witch, and that she, too, was a Witch, and she wished we’d known when we were working together. And that’s something that I wish, too! Because there’s nothing quite like sharing tips, tricks and jokes that only another person who practises in this realm will appreciate.

I saw an article the other day on the New York Times that said that we have “reached peak witch“. I think that we’ve always been around – it’s just that we’re maybe more comfortable in sharing our practices and beliefs these days. For me, I couldn’t care less if people think I’m a bit strange. I’m a professional woman, a PhD student, I wear a blazer to work. It’s not like I walk around in head to toe black, covered in tattoos of pentagrams and symbols of the Goddess – not that I think it would matter if I did/was. In fact, I would feel comfortable doing that these days if that’s how I wanted to express myself. And that’s kind of the point I’m trying to make here.

A black and white photograph of a person with their black cat.

I try not to get too political on here because personally I feel like politics kind of messes with my spiritual vibes at the moment. But I do think that the state of the world right now, in the UK, where I live, in Australia, where I’m from, and in the US, which I love, has given me more reason to fight for what I believe in, and be who the f*ck I want to be. Life is too short to play a part.

Samhain is just around the corner and it feels like the best time to promote owning who we are and what we do. So f*ck it. Come out with me.

So if you want to get that pentagram tattoo, f*cking do it. And if you want to wear a black veil to work, f*cking wear it. I’ll support you, and so will our community.

A Yorkshire Terrier is dressed up as a Witch next to a cauldron.

If you have questions about coming out of the proverbial broom closet, send them my way. Maybe you’d even like me to post your question on our Facebook page so that other Boss Witches and folks can benefit and engage.

Either way, you do you, Boss Witch.

Blessings,

xxK

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Samhain 2019: How I’m Preparing & Protecting

Happy Weekend, Witches and friends!

I’ve been thinking a lot about Samhain over the past few days. I’ve been listening to Pam Grossman’s amazing podcast, The Witch Wave, and one episode in particular (#26 with author Peter Bebergal) made me think more closely about the thinning of the veil, and what happens when our ancestors are more easily able to contact us.

A person with blue and green hair in the forest wears a crown of horns and a red dress.

While I was on a long drive yesterday to teach at a university in a different area, I started hearing some strange sounds come through the radio of my car. I mean, yes, I could have been picking up some odd frequencies from a police radio or something. But my Witch brain tells me it was something else. For one, I wasn’t listening to the radio. I was hooked up to Bluetooth on my phone and listening to a podcast. For another, this has never, ever happened to me before, and I can’t help thinking that, given the time of year, someone was trying to contact me.

Now, the thing with Samhain is that, as we say, the veil is thinning. Which means that, yes, our ancestors can more easily come through to bring us messages and communicate with us. But it also means that other spirits have a more ready access to us, and that in turn means that we need to be aware and perhaps more careful of the availability we make of ourselves to spirits. For me, I don’t know who was trying to contact me yesterday. I do know that it was a woman, and I couldn’t understand what she was saying. It was muffled and whispered. I don’t know whether that was an ancestor (say, my Nanna) or whether that was a completely unrelated spirit to me that was taking advantage of a time when I was feeling open-hearted and unguarded. Maybe it was a good spirit, and maybe it was a spirit with a low-vibrating intention. Either way, it made me think more carefully about what I want to achieve this Samhain season, and what I wanted to avoid and protect myself and my family from.

Guarding Yourself from Unwanted Visitations

Crystals can be a wonderful and easy way to guard yourself from those spirits who might be vibrating at a lower energy frequency (read: not well-intentioned).

A black obsidian ring in a teardrop shape.

At AngelGrotto.com, Mary Ancilette lists the following crystals as the best for protection:

Black Tourmaline

Jet

Black Obsidian

Smoky Quartz (Stone of Cooperation)

Amethyst (Stone of Spirituality, Meditation and Contentment)

Fluorite (Stone of Discernment and Aptitude)

Hematite (Stone for the Mind)

Blue Kyanite

Labradorite (Stone for Serendipity)

Mary Ancilette, AngelGrotto.Com

Taking into account exactly what you want to protect yourself from, have a think about the stones listed above and perhaps what you need to stock up on.

Protective Spells and Charms

A selection of occult items including candles, bottles and an animal skull in a jar.

It can be a good idea, as well as taking advantage of the thinning of the veil to communicate with your ancestors and kind spirits, to take the step of protecting yourself via a simple spell or charm.

For example:

Bunches of tied onions hang from a wooden beam.

Preparing Mentally for Samhain

In 2019 we are faced with an additional challenge, in that Mercury Retrograde also begins on Samhain (October 31st). Mercury Retrograde is always an interesting and challenging time, where we tend to see ‘karma’ or energies returned to those who sent them out, perhaps secrets might be revealed, or people might receive their ‘comeuppance’, for want of a better explanation.

A person lays down amid grass and wildflowers with their eyes closed.

This is all manageable, but it means that, as spiritual beings, we need to be super aware of our mental states and our emotional energies. For example, we should focus on kindness and performing acts of good, rather than reacting in emotional ways that might vibrate at a lower frequency, but which, at this particular time, might feel more natural and pulling to us in the moment. So stop, breathe, listen to your heart space and your practical Magical mind, and think about the right decision to make for yourself before taking action.

Now is a time to be practising additional meditations, communing with our innermost selves, and really thinking about what kind of life and energy we’re trying to manifest.

If you have any more questions about Samhain or the Mercury Retrograde we’re about to experience, please contact me and I’ll do my best to either answer, or point you in the right direction.

In the meantime, stay safe, be alert, and keep your heart warm and your vibrations high.

Blessings,

xxK

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Sleep Hygiene: How to Get to Sleep When Your Brain is Being a D*ck

Hello, Boss Witches! Today I want to talk about how to get to sleep when your brain is being a d*ck by going a million miles an hour, reminding you of shameful things you did when you were 17, and making you mull over all of your life choices repeatedly until you consider banging your head against a wall just in case that makes you pass out for a second (please don’t do that).

A person with long dark hair and wearing a grey t-shirt sleeps on a white sheet.

Sleep hygiene is one of those concepts that always makes me roll my eyes. See, I don’t like being told by a GP or by a therapist that I need to go to bed early and not watch TV. Because, let’s face it, one of the best things about being alive in 2019 is watching Netflix as you pass out slowly. I am someone who needs noise to drown out the thoughts so that I can get some blessed rest. However, I do recognise that there is truth to the bullsh*t spouted by GPs who think that going to bed at 8pm and not looking at your phone after 7pm is the solution.

I’m not going to tell you what to do; that’s not my style. Instead, I’m going to tell you how I like to (try) to use the concept of sleep hygiene in a practical and achievable way that is also realistic and also not f*cking BORING.

ROUTINE

I love routine. I love lists, and I love routines. Whenever my anxiety or depression are acting up, routine is a great friend. Writing a list of what time to do things (eat breakfast, go to bed etc) makes me feel like I have a plan of action that can be put into place and achieved. For me, I know that getting up earlier (like 8am) when I’m working from home or on PhD days is my best bet at getting in a day of work without feeling lethargic and also being tired enough that going to sleep before midnight is at least a likelihood.

A towel, a bath bomb and a lit candle sit beside a bath.

I try to take a bath before bed to signal to myself that the work day is done. I tend to put lavender essential oil into that bath because, yes, aromatherapy does work for me. That lavender oil also goes into my aromatherapy diffuser with some rosemary and bergamot to make my room smell like sleepytime. Speaking of sleepytime – I used to love SleepyTime tea. I don’t find it overly helpful these days, but lots of people do, and there are heaps of options for that. Whatever works for you. But routine – i.e. telling your brain and your body that it’s time for bed and rest – is one of the best things in my toolkit.

MEDITATION

I know, I bang on about meditation a lot. You know how I said I need noise? I don’t mean like loud talking. I tend to gravitate towards things like TV shows that I don’t have to watch (Masterchef Australia is my fave for that) that help me drift off. HOWEVER – I realise that’s not very healthy in terms of sleep hygiene so I TRY to meditate instead. That’s where Yoga Nidra is great – I rarely make it all the way through. If I make it through a 45 minute Yoga Nidra session, then it’s time for Masterchef, because things are bad.

A person uses a Tibetan Singing Bowl.

SUPPLEMENTS

A white jar spilling out gel supplement capsules.

Before bed I take a concoction of supplements (please check with your doctor before doing that etc etc). If I’m having a rough patch in terms of sleep, I’ll take Melatonin for a few nights to try to help get me back into a routine of sleeping when it’s dark and waking when it’s light. I suffer from restless leg syndrome when I’m stressed, so I also take Magnesium for that. On top of those, I take loads more for various things, but more on that another time.

ALCOHOL

Red wine pours into a glass.

I’m not saying to drink alcohol. I’m not going to tell you not to. I’m just going to point out that if I have a few glasses of wine, I am going to be bang-wide-awake at 3am and there is going to be no going back. Make up your own mind – everyone is different.

CAFFEINE

Coffee beans in the shape of a heart rate, with a cup of coffee.

I try not to drink coffee after about 4pm. I’m down to 2 a day now, and those are always in the morning. On a special occasion I might have another one after dinner but that’s pretty rare. My problem is the diet cola, which I’ve mentioned before. I am trying to be better at not drinking that at nighttime, but we all have our vices. Also: remember that tea has caffeine in it, and so does green tea. If you’re dying for your hot beverages at bedtime and you’re trying to cut back the caffeine, I’m going to suggest a delicious tasting herbal tea (they do exist) like fennel, or something equally naturally sweet. Chamomile, in my humble opinion, tastes a bit like lawn mowings, but each to their own, witches.

MAKE YOUR BED

Blue and white bedding.

Witches, let me tell you something. There are those of us who like to make beds and those of us who don’t. But I’m going to hazard a guess that 100% of us prefer getting into a made bed at night. Climbing into scrunched up sheets and a lumpy quilt where all the feathers are at one side is just not going to do it for me, and it’s just not going to do it for you. Be a doll, be kind to yourself. Wash your sheets regularly. Invest in nice bedding if that option is available to you. And if you don’t make your bed in the mornings, at least make it before you go to bed at night. You will feel better, guaranteed.

SLEEP MASKS

A person with dark hair wears a pink sleeping mask that reads, ‘Let’s Sleep’.

Once upon a time I treated myself to this sleep mask on Amazon. It’s silky soft, it’s heavenly. That opened up a can of worms in that I can no longer sleep without a mask on, preferably my actual silk mask that I’m presently attached to. It’s all part of the routine. Once that mask goes on my head, above my eyes, I’m readying myself for bed. Once it’s on? It’s time for Deepak Chopra, or Jennifer Piercy, or Masterchef Australia.

A Conclusion

Like I said, everyone is different. Some people like to do yoga before bed, and some people like to meditate, and some people like to play video games for 17 hours until they pass out. But I think we all know which one of those options is probably the least hygienic if we’re talking about sleep hygiene.

A puppy sleeps in its owner’s arms.

What sleep hacks do you have?

Namaste,

xxK

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Cooking For Anosmia and Parosmia

Okay, Boss Witches, this might seem unusual for me. But, at the behest of my partner, who suffers from anosmia / parosmia (depending on the day), I have promised to do this post.

What is Anosmia, and What is Parosmia?

Great question. I had never heard of it until Jessie got anosmia in 2017 after a really, really brutal virus that they think may have been glandular fever.

Anosmia is when you literally cannot taste or smell ANYTHING. Like, at all. You could eat something and it would just taste like a big mouthful of sweet f*ck all. This is what Jessie had at the beginning, and it was awful. She could barely eat, and she lost loads of weight because eating was just a massive chore, and she was hungry all the time.

A young child smells a flower.

Parosmia is when things taste and smell like something, but not what they’re supposed to taste and smell like. Which in some ways is better than anosmia, but in lots of ways is worse, because things taste BAD. For example, Jessie used to love chocolate, but now chocolate tastes like petrol.

What I’ve learned about these two conditions over the past few years has been a lot, a little, but mostly this: when you can’t taste food, you need to FEEL food. So basically, we are talking about TEXTURE.

Cooking With Texture

If everything tastes normal to you, and things are just delicious, then you don’t really need to think about texture. But if everything tastes like nothingness, or if everything tastes kind of like a mixture of dried flowers and chemical sewerage, then texture becomes suddenly really important.

My biggest tip: nuts.

A mixed selection of nuts.

As you can read in my earlier post, nuts are generally a great all-round food. They’re good for us, and they make us feel good. But nuts are also a great way to add texture to a meal. For example, I love making a rice salad inspired by Yotam Ottolenghi, with my own additions (my whole family makes it, we all make it differently). But I cram it full of textural goodies, like fresh, skin-on almonds, dried goji berries and pine nuts.

The tastes

A selection of spices in metal bowls.

Sweet. Salty. Umami. Spicy. These are the things we aim for when cooking for an anosmic or parosmic person. The more you can get in there, the better. So, for example, crispy foods (texture) with sweet, sour, salty and spicy flavour profiles are generally a good bet.

Anosmia / Parosmia Recipe No. 1.

Crispy Skin Salmon with Crispy Kale

This is one of Jessie’s favourites that I make.

So number one – make your brown rice. Head over to Saveur to learn the art of brown rice – once I started cooking brown rice like pasta, my whole cooking life changed. COOK IT LIKE PASTA. It’s textural, it’s delicious, it’s flavourful and everyone will eat it.

A raw salmon fillet.

INGREDIENTS

2 x Salmon Fillets (skin on)
Olive oil
Lemon
2 x handfuls fresh kale (chopped)
1/2 lemon
Salt
Pepper
Paprika

This is the easiest recipe ever.

So get your brown rice cooking, and pre-heat the oven to 180 CELSIUS.

Rub olive oil onto the skin of the salmon fillets and crack salt and pepper on top.

Pop the salmon into a cold pan, heating to about 4 (medium). We want to leave the fillets on this skin side for ages – we’re aiming for the crispiest skin and the least amount of apartment-filling smoke at this point.

Meanwhile, chuck your kale onto some baking paper on a baking pan, and drizzle it with olive oil. Now crack a generous amount of salt and pepper onto it, then sprinkle with paprika (as much as you like – I like a lot) and whack it in the oven. It’s going to stay in there for about 15 minutes.

Fresh kale.

When those fillets are almost cooked through, squeeze lemon onto them and flip them to seal. If you need to seal the sides (WHOA, you have some hefty salmon fillets), then please do.

A grilled salmon fillet with lemon.

Once it’s cooked, which should take about the same amount of time as the kale, we’re going to take it off, let it rest for about 2 minutes, then serve with the brown rice and the crispy kale. Use whichever condiments your anosmic/parosmic friend can bear (probably something super spicy like Sriracha).

ENJOY!

I’ll post some more recipes for our anosmic/parosmic buddies soon.

Namaste,

xxK

The 21 Day Abundance Challenge: From the Other Side

One of my very first posts on this site was when I was just a couple days into the 21 Day Abundance Challenge, which marries the 21 day abundance meditation course from Deepak Chopra with some daily tasks aimed at helping us take a look at ourselves, our lives, where we come from and where we’re going.

GIF from “The Good Place”.

I’ve been in bed ill for a couple of days so now that I’m back, I’m at the bloody last day of the 21 day challenge! What the fork?

Anyway, it seemed like kind of a good idea to take a look at the challenge from the other end.

As someone who’s always had trouble finishing what I started, which is why I am okay but not great at, among other things, knitting, painting, sewing, baking, ballet, piano, guitar etc and so on, this challenge was great in terms of keeping me accountable. I really did not want to let down my friend Nicci, who challenged me in the first place, and who put in the work to manage our little group which, by the end, was just a couple of us.

A person with ripped jeans sits in a doorway using their smartphone.

So I just finished and I feel really good. Like really good. Because I have basically meditated every single day, with purposeful intention, for three whole weeks. And every single day, I have done some kind of activity or task that has made me take a look at myself, the way I see things and the way I live my life. Did I love every minute of it? NO. Because sometimes, looking inwards in hard and gross and unpleasant. But that’s all a part of inner growth, right?

It’s like how when you start going to therapy, you think, “Why the f*ck am I doing this to myself?”. It’s terrible. You’re pulling out all of these deep, buried feelings and experiences and thoughts and they’re messy. But once they’re out there, safely written down in your notebook, suddenly they seem a little less dark.

A stone Buddha statue sits in front of a pond with fish in it.

Maybe the abundance challenge isn’t for you, and I completely get that. However – the meditations are available on YouTube for free, and I really recommend that you give them a shot. One a day, and they don’t last too long (maybe 15 minutes each?). Challenge yourself to just spend 15 minutes a day to calm your mind and maybe alter the way that you see the world. Jessie started doing it, as well, and even she’s enjoying it. In fact, she has downloaded that particular app that I’m always banging on about. WHO KNEW that meditation was so great? (Me. I knew.)

Maybe you’ll find yourself becoming more abundant (and I don’t just mean money-wise).

Namaste,

xxK

What to Do When Anxiety Hits and You Don’t Have Time for That Sh*t

It happens to the best of us. Anxiety is a thing that is kind of always with you. If you suffer from anxiety, whether just occasionally or on the regular, you’ll know what I’m talking about.

You have mountains to do. You have a to-do list the length of the walk from the ice cream aisle back to the fresh produce. You have 11 missed calls and you haven’t even rung your mother in weeks. You are one busy Witch. And then the anxiety hits.

Three colourful hourglasses.

Your heart is going, your mind is racing, you start to sweat. And all you can think is, “I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS SH*T!”.

I don’t have the cure for anxiety. I should point that out right now. But what I do have is my very own little toolkit for times like these. It may work for you, and it may not. But give it a go.

1. STOP

A painted STOP sign.

When the anxieties hit, you need to stop for a second. Stop, realise what’s happening, and take a massive, deep breath. Gather yourself. Take a few more deep breaths.

2. IDENTIFY THE BAD THOUGHTS

You’ll know yourself – there are thoughts that only come to haunt you when you’re in the throes of an anxiety attack, or even a ‘moment’. You’ve been here before. So I want you to identify those thoughts, brand them mentally as Anxiety Thoughts, and then acknowledge the fact that you don’t have time or the need for them right now.

3. NEW THOUGHTS

Now that you’ve identified those f*ckers, it’s time to replace them with Good Thoughts, or at least, Less Bad Thoughts.

An illustration of a person thinking.

Example:

Bad Thought: “You are never going to get all of this done. You took on too much, you idiot. Now look what you’ve done.”

Good Thought: “You do have a lot to do, that’s true. But you’ve taken on as much as you can handle, and you can only do what you can do right now. 3am is not a helpful time to be thinking about this. The best thing you can do is rest, and tackle it in the morning.”

4. MEDITATE

An illustration of a person with dark hair meditating.

Yes, witches, it’s me again, spouting the gospel of meditation. That’s because meditating is the single best thing I have found to snap myself out of a full-blown, nightmare motherf*cking anxiety attack. Once you’ve taken those breaths and addressed those thoughts, it’s time to stick on the app and choose a nice, LONG guided meditation. Yoga Nidra. Affirmations. Anxiety specialist meditation. Whatever it takes to bring you back to Planet Okay. If you’re as tired as I think you probably are from all this anxiety, with any luck you’ll just fall asleep before the meditation is over. Some of them are designed for that, by the way, so don’t add that to your worry guilt list.

5. AVOID COFFEE

A person holds a hot beverage.

Not forever. I’m not a monster. Just don’t have any right now, while you’re having an anxiety attack, okay? Have like a nice cup of calming herbal tea or some water or something. Caffeine increases your heart rate and stuff. It’s just no good for anxiety attacks, okay?

6. DO SOMETHING NICE

I realise it seems counterintuitive, especially if your anxiety attack has been brought on by having a lot of sh*t to do. NEVERTHELESS.

A small puppy sleeps in a person’s arms.

Acknowledge that you’re not performing at your best right now. Give yourself an hour. Watch an episode of Gossip Girl or Below Deck or whatever it is that brings you joy. I enjoy watching Naked and Afraid because you know what? No matter how stressed I am, at least I’m not being eaten alive by ants and threatened by lions who want me for their dinner. See? Relative. Also: find an animal to make friends with. If you have one, lucky you. Force them to be loving and affectionate with you.

7. TAKE YOUR MEDS

Don’t be a hero. If you’ve been prescribed meds, take them. I do. It doesn’t make you less of a Boss Witch or a Zen Bitch. Just. Take. Them. Take them regularly. Take them with water. Take them with meals. Set an alarm on your phone. Get them checked with the doctor if they’re not doing what they’re meant to be doing.

8. MOVE

A person watches the sunset in a wooded area.

Not as in moving house. I just mean, move your body. Take a walk or something. Go to the countryside. Borrow a dog. Do some yoga. Watch Yoga with Adriene, she’s super nice and she won’t make you anxious.

9. GET YOUR ESSENTIAL OILS ON

Make your space nice, do a little tidy if you’re up to it. Then whack on the essential oils. Lavender, chamomile, Ylang Ylang, etc. Choose relaxing scents. Put them in a diffuser or in a bath or in your hand or in a burner, and then close your eyes and BREATHE.

A wooden aromatherapy diffuser.

I feel like there should be a 10th point just for tidiness, but those 9 are my important ones. I break the rules, what can I say?

How do you deal with anxiety? Contact me and let me know.

Namaste (hope you’re okay)

xxK

The Basics of Candle Magick (And a Simple Money Spell)

Witchcraft often has associations with a whole bunch of candles burning, and there’s good reason for that. We Boss Witches love a candle, and candles can serve many purposes within our magical practice.

But knowing where to begin can be tricky, and there are so many candles available that it can be confusing, not to mention expensive.

I wanted to share with you on this Sunday a few simple (and cost-effective) ways to incorporate candle magick into your own practice.

Which colour candle should I use?

A line of coloured candles.

This bit is the tricky one. I mean, if you have literally any colour of candle laying around the house, in my own opinion, you can do some kind of spell with it. For example, I have two white votive candles that I light whenever I’m working on something spiritual, whether it’s tarot, spell-casting, rituals and so forth. But you can more effectively target the effectiveness of your spells by using specific coloured candles.

Mackenzie Sage-Wright has this handy list of colour references over on Exemplore:

ColorCorrespondences
Redassertiveness, courage, creativity, energy, passionate love, sex
Orangeambition, concentration, eloquence, legal issues, intellectual pursuits, success
Yellowattractiveness, clarity, happiness, intelligence, persuasiveness, travel
Greengrowth, fertility, harmony, health, prosperity, wealth
Bluedreamwork, healing, intuition, loyalty, peace, spirituality
Purpleconnecting to the higher self, communing with higher beings, meditation, psychic abilities and development
Pinkbeauty, compassion, femininity, partnerships, romantic/innocent love
Whiteall-purpose (can be a substitute for any other color), cleansing, purification, truth, reflecting energy
Blackabsorbing energy, banishing, breaking things (bad habits, hexes, etc.) discovering hidden wisdom, protection, self-defense
Greyinvisibility (not literal), loneliness, neutralizing energies and spells, wisdom
Brownabundance, family, friends, gardening, grounding, pets, stability
A lit green candle

Do I have to buy special candles?

Absolutely not. I get it – we all like gorgeous candles. I can’t help myself sometimes. But when we are working with spells and magic/k, this is very important: it’s the intention that counts, not how much you spent on the candle. That means that, in my opinion, tea-light candles are just as effective as votives, and if you’re going to burn an entire candle in a spell, I’d personally rather you hadn’t spent £50 on it. Boss Witching is about spirituality – but also about being financially sensible. So please, spend what you like and what you can on candles. Not what you think you should spend.

What does it mean to “anoint” a candle?

Some amber glass bottles of essential oils with some flowers.

I love anointing candles. This combines two wonderfully powerful elements of Witchcraft into one for a certain spell. Basically, anointing just means that you are adding essential oils with specific properties onto your candle. You can either just add a drop, or, for a really powerful addition to your spellwork, use the oil to draw a symbol such as a sigil or a pentagram on the candle (which reminds me to add sigils to the list of things I need to post about soon!).

How do I use a candle in a spell?

Okay, there are loads of ways to address this question, but I’m going to start with something really basic as an example. We’re going to do a spell that I think we can probably all relate to:

A Money Spell

A pink candle with a Wiccan Pentagram on it.

We all need more money, right? It pays the bills, it hurts and stresses us out when there’s not enough of it. There are loads of different money spells you can do, but I want to break it down into a very simple one for today.

Today we’re going to need:

  • A green or gold candle (any size)
  • Some Frankincense oil
  • A piece of paper and a pen
  • A lighter or a match to actually light the candle.
A lit candle bearing a pentagram sits on top of a written spell.

As soon as you start to begin the planning for your spell, you’re doing it. So by reading this, you’re already on your way.

First, set up somewhere quiet. If you want to cast a circle, please do. But you don’t have to.

Set up your candle and the oil next to it, and have your pen and paper handy.

On the paper, I want you to write, I am thankful for the <INSERT AMOUNT HERE> that I will receive in the next <TIME FRAME>. I will use this money to <INSERT WHAT YOU NEED IT FOR>.

Then I want you to write below:

Money, money, come to me
In abundance, three times three
Harm no person, spirit or beast,
Turn this famine into feast.

Now I want you to draw the sign of the pentagram on the candle, and focus your intentions.

Sit the piece of paper underneath the candle, and light the candle.

As it flickers, repeat the spell three times. Money, money…etc.

Once you’ve said the spell three times, say,

By the power of three times three,
I have made it. So mote it be.

Now take some deep breaths, keep focusing that attention.

Let the candle burn all the way down. When it’s gone, fold that piece of paper and put it somewhere safe and special (like a jewellery box).

A wooden jewellery box.

Now you’ve taken your first steps into candle magick! Congratulations.

When your manifestation comes true, either burn or bury that piece of paper, releasing the manifestation. (Please don’t set fire to it if you live in an apartment with a sensitive smoke alarm, and also, just please be safe in general. Light it in a metal bowl or something. The sink, even.)

I’d love to know how you use candles in your own practice. Post pictures to Instagram, using the hashtag #OneBossWitch and I’ll check them out!

Also, send me a note if you use this spell and tell me how it goes.

Namaste, and have a beautiful Sunday eve.

xxK

Aromatherapy for Healing and Relief: 101

I literally love my aromatherapy. I couldn’t love it more. I have an expansive set of essential oils for various ailments, and I want more. I want them all.

Here’s a basic rundown of what’s in my kit, and what I use them for…

A wooden aromatherapy diffuser.

I have this diffuser and I am in love with it. It lasts for ages and lets off a glorious, aromatherapy steam. You can also customise the lights! My favourite combinations to put into it are:

  1. 10 drops lemongrass, 10 drops peppermint, 2 drops orange (this smells kind of like fresh day spa)
  2. 10 drops lavender, 10 drops rosemary and 2 drops bergamot (this is a lush, gentle sleepy time mix)
  3. 10 drops cinnamon, 4 drops bergamot, 4 drops Frankincense and 4 drops Ylang Ylang (this is just sexy and spicy and gorgeous).

This diffuser also works if you are feeling fluey – just pile in some Eucalyptus or Tea Tree. Migraine? PEPPERMINT. Stressed? Lavender mix as above. You can mix and match and play around with the combinations until you find the one you love. I’ve even got Jessie hooked on it.

A person in a white dress touches a field of lavender. Two bottles of lavender sit next to them.

Good Essential Oils

A set of 12 essential oils has the best mix you could ask for if you’re starting out. I keep this one at the office. You can literally find a remedy for anything in here, and it’s really reasonably priced for such a large set. Once you find your favourites, you can always buy them in bigger sizes (I have a gigantic peppermint, for example). If you can, try to get 100% pure organic essential oils, but don’t worry if that’s a bit pricey for now. Get what you can.

Carrier Oils

Almonds.

Carrier oils are really important if you want to dip your toe into making your own cosmetics and oils. I use Sweet Almond Oil for a lot of things – face oil (add 1 drop of something like lemongrass or lavender – steer clear of peppermint, it stings the eyes), for example. Or, if like me, you have some issues with your reproductive system, like menstrual cramps or fibroids, drop in a couple of drops of Clary Sage into a palmful of S.A.O. and massage it into your abdomen. I swear, it helps.

Peppermint Oil: The Big Hack

A glass bottle of oil with cut leaves of fresh peppermint next to it.

For the biggie, and the trick that for me has converted loads of people – it’s the Migraine Peppermint Oil hack. You know those migraines that will not f*ck off, no matter how much you rest, sit in the dark and take medication? Right. Take a few drops of pure peppermint oil into your palm and rub the hands together. Then we’re going to make a kind of triangle shape out of our hands to cover the nose and the mouth. Gently, inhale and exhale, taking that peppermint oil in nice and deep. Keep breathing like this for a good 5-10 minutes if you can. I can’t speak for science, but this is the only thing that will work for me when those f*cking migraines kick in and won’t leave you alone to get on with manifesting what you want in life. Buy this one in bulk, witches. You’re going to love it.

Aromatherapy Baths

A person with red lipstick is laying in a milk bath with flowers in it.

Finally, the BATH trick. Feeling stressed? Back pain? Period pain? Anxious? We’re going to take an aromatherapy bath.

STRESS: Lavender, rosemary, bergamot, maybe some Ylang Ylang.

MENSTRUAL PAIN: Clary Sage and rosemary

BACK PAIN: Cinnamon

STRESS 2: Frankincense, cinnamon, sandalwood.

Just play around with how much you put in – my bath doesn’t fill up very high so I find 10 drops total is enough when using a pure essential oil.

There are loads more things we can do with essential oils, and we’ll come to them later. But for now, enjoy the beginnings of your fresh-smelling, fragrant journey.

Namaste,

xxK

PS – Some of these links are Amazon Associate links. But feel free to shop around – and always shop local if you can!