What is Manic Manifesting?

So I’m signed up to receive emails from Gabby Bernstein, who, I think we can all agree, is a bit of a f*cking inspiration, right?

Anyway, the other day this email pops up, and it says, “Are you a manic manifester?”. Immediately, I thought – YES. I don’t know what that means but YES, it sounds exactly like what I am.

A doorway in the midst of a messy, overcrowded wall of books.

So finally I took the time to sit down and watch her video about manic manifestation, and I realised that it’s a trap we can all so easily slide into. I am especially guilty of this; I throw myself into whatever I’m doing 110% and then if it doesn’t work straight away, I lose hope and I get depressed and I think it’s all a massive waste of time. But what Gabby says, what Deepak Chopra says, what basically anyone who actually gets and accomplishes this manifestation sh*t says is, you can’t just ask, then wait for it to happen. It’s about the vibrations we’re putting out into the Universe, and if we are sending out there that we WANT things, we are sending out vibes of LACKING.

Two empty glass bottles, one cloudy and standing, the other clear and on its side.

Okay, I get that this all sounds a bit f*cking ridiculous, like how can you send out vibes of abundance when you can’t pay your rent and you just had half a honey sandwich for breakfast because you can’t face the grocery store?

This is where we have to realign our minds. This is the hard part of manifestation, people. It’s the part where we let go, and let the Universe take over.

Let’s have a little imagination sesh.

Let’s say you’re launching a jewellery line and you’re in pretty deep and you need for it to go well. Naturally, if you’re a human being, you’re going to feel stressed about that. You’re going to feel pressure to achieve big things, for your new business to be a success. You see those bills piling up and you get the middle of the night panic sweats and you think, “have I just f*cked up my adult life?” even though you know your jewellery is sh*t hot. Right, this is when you have to make sure that you are aligned in the right way.

A painting of a shipwreck in a storm.

DON’T: Write down “DEAR UNIVERSE, PLEASE MAKE MY JEWELLERY LINE A SUCCESS OR I AM F*CKED”.

DO: Close your eyes, imagine that website launching, and SEE the orders rolling in. You ARE a successful business person. You know that. Because you’ve handed yourself over to the powers of the Universe, and that means all you have to do now is work your hardest and the good things will come flowing in.

An altered photograph of a person with long hair, who has two sets of smiling lips for eyes and a set of frowning lips at the mouth.

I get it – it’s easier said than done. I know that my anxiety makes me a prime suspect for the old manic manifestation. I get stuck in the PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE cycle instead of sitting myself comfortably in the, “I’ve got this” armchair.

Another mistake that I’m often guilty of making is the old two-fold issue.
Part A: you’re obsessing over that thing you’re working on manifesting.
Part B: you’re trying to manifest 10,000 things at once. House, car, family, job, money, travel… it’s too much, friends. You need to FOCUS. You need to CALM DOWN (says Taylor Swift). Clarity is essential here.

So, when you are working on your manifestations, remember: you feel the feeling. You vibe the vibe. You vibrate at that all-having, loving kindness frequency, and then you LET THAT SH*T GO. Because you’ve done what you need to do now. Say your mantra, chant your chants, meditate your abundance meditations, and then RELEASE that intention into the Universe. If you hold onto it, the Universe can’t grasp it. Because it’s tucked up in the tiny little manic clock inside your brain, turning over and over. Drop it into the ocean. Watch it float away on a compostable balloon. Whatever you need to do – do it. Just get rid of it.

Drops fall into a body of red water.

So next time you find yourself slipping down that slope towards the LACKING mindset instead of the I AM A F*CKING BOSS WITCH mindset, remember this:

An illustration of a person meditating.

You are a badass. (again, one of my favourite books, by the wondrous Jen Sincero).

You can only work as many hours as there are in the day, and you are already successful, because you have things in your life that are amazing.

So take a few moments each day to meditate on the things in your life that are kickass, and make you feel warm and fuzzy inside, because that, my friends – that is the frequency we want to be vibrating upon.

Blessings,

xxK

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Boss Witch Fashion Friday: It's Victoriana, Baby

Once upon a time, it was the Victorian age. The Victorians had a penchant for dark stories, vampires, Dickensian poverty, tight corsets and big skirts. The Victorians also inspired a whole century’s worth of Witches, Goths, alternative folks, Steampunkers, cosplayers and costumiers in terms of their fashion. Also, literally every lesbian or women-attracted-woman has seen Tipping the Velvet at some point so that’s why we’ve gone for full TTV reference here, okay? It’s iconic. So here, today, I shall lay out the ways in which we can incorporate Victoriana into our day-to-day lives.

ONE: CORSETRY

From the ground up, we have the knickers. Well, more specifically, the corsetry. I am no expert on corsets but I certainly do love wearing them. They make your waist teeny tiny, boobs look like you walked off a Victoria’s Secret catwalk but can also be worn by anyone of any gender or sex, which is fantastic. These days, the corset is a mainstay (see what I did there) of #WitchyVibes. Since I’m no expert, I asked my best friend and actual, literal Victorian corsetry expert, Lindsey Holmes, aka Costumier-Saurus, who is writing a PhD on…Victorian corsets.

Suranne Jones and Sophie Rundle in Gentleman Jack.

“The Victorian era was the peak of corsetry invention, as new technology overlapped with fashions for neat, structured waistlines resulting in beautiful, intricate garments which have endlessly fascinated and inspired the following generations of designers and wearers.”

Lindsey Holmes, Costumier-Saurus.

So basically, the Victorian era was THE era for corset innovation, and therefore, I will say, with undue certainty, that it was the most important.

These days we take our corsetry with a grain of innovation, ourselves. For example, in leather for Steampunk events (or just for fun), or for sexy-times, or for making ballgowns look f*cking amazing. I mean, basically anyone looks good in a corset, it’s a fact of life, everybody. Get one now.

Pop over to Costumier-Saurus’ Etsy shop to have a look (she has some excellent Suffragette merchandise…)

TWO: Off the Shoulder Situations

Jenna Coleman in a blue and gold gown in Victoria.

The Victorians bloody loved an off-the-shoulder gown situation. These, couple with the massive tit-boost provided by aforementioned corsetry, also meant that they had to occasionally add in a shawl or a fichou which basically covered their modesty, but TBH, there was a lot of cleavage happening.

These days we still love an off-shoulder situation, in modern fashion and also in our cos-play.

But to get that glorious Victorian-era off-shoulder elegance, opt for opulent fabrics and a fair helping of lace…

Spring/Summer 2019 off-shoulder fashion trends via Glowsly

THREE: STATEMENT SLEEVES

Oh, boy, do I love a statement sleeve. In fact, I have had to be weaned off shoulder pads, puffed sleeves and so forth BUT I have since realised that I can wear whatever the f*ck I want, so bring on the sleeves, I say.

Emily Blunt in The Young Victoria.

These sleeves can be short, long, or not even there, but if they’re not there, I’ll tell you what is: dangly sh*t. And it is statement as f*ck. Many a wedding dress has been inspired by this sleeve, and let me tell you right now: the 80s would not have been what they were without the puffed sleeve, care of the trusty Victorians.

Left to right: Rodarte, Marc Jacobs
Rodarte and Marc Jacobs full sleeves on the runway, via HuffPost

This sleeve actions works on dresses and coats alike, and I shall leave you with this glorious depiction of Dakota Fanning in The Alienist, wearing this rather breathtaking suited sitch:

Dakota Fanning in The Alienist.

FOUR: All Buttoned Up

Now, I had a thyroid problem in my early twenties so, much as I love this look, I cannot wear it without feeling like I’m being choked to death. However, we have seen a lot of Victorian-inspired fashion lately that includes the glorious buttoned-up-to-the-mouth (nearly) collars, and I felt I had to share that glory.

Eva Green in Penny Dreadful.

The great thing about the Victorians is that, at the same time, they’re like TITS OUT, but also, TITS RIGHT IN, let’s cover that sh*t up. But sometimes they do, and they’re trussed up like herb bundles, and other times, they’re choked in lace but you can still see everything. More lately, I felt we should pay homage again to Chilling Adventures of Sabrina’s Weird Sisters, led by Tati Gabrielle, who do a mighty fine job of modernising the Victorian lace collar.

Tati Gabrielle, Abigail Cowen and Adeline Rudolph as The Weird Sisters in Chilling Adventures of Sabrina.

FIVE: F*ck Gender

Vesta Tilley in both women’s and men’s clothing, via Messy Nessy https://www.messynessychic.com/2017/10/24/our-cross-dressing-ancestors/.

Finally, my favourite thing about the Victorians – they wore a lot of whatever the f*ck they wanted. Top hats, once the domain of men, became totally acceptable for women to wear. Then there were the Gentleman Jacks of the period, who were like, f*ck this, I’m wearing sensible boots and a long coat and a top hat because PRACTICAL. And, again, let’s just reference the beautiful gender-intermixing dressing in Tipping the Velvet, because I don’t know a single woman who didn’t want to wear a full Victorian suit and top hat after that show came out, me included. As well as wearing whatever the f*ck they wanted, the auld Victorians were a dab-hand at crossing sexual boundaries, and I feel like that’s a blog post for another day.

Cara Delevingne Broke the Dress Code with a Bold Royal Wedding Look
Cara Delevingne wears a full suit with top hat to Princess Eugenie’s wedding. Via Vanity Fair.

Anyway, I hope you have enjoyed today’s shallow dive into Victorian clothing. I know I have. And now I really must get back to my PhD, which is definitely not about Victorian corsets.

Blessings!

xxK

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5 Easy Ways to Learn the Tarot

Welcome to Thursday! It’s a miracle we’re here. After all, everywhere you go, there are terrible Christmas songs playing, and old ladies who need help and nobody but you will help them, and then you drive home on the verge of tears wondering whether that will, one day, be you… oh, just me? Never mind.

So I asked over on Instagram whether you’d rather see one of two posts today: Magic Under the Influence, or Easy Ways to Learn the Tarot. Door No. 2 won with an overwhelming majority. So here we are, everyone – and I shall assume that nobody else does magic after a whisky or two…

A green caravan with two signs reading ‘TAROT’ sits on a wooden jetty over the sea.

The Tarot is one of those things that we’re almost all familiar with visually. If you’re like me, you’ve got the old Smith-Waite Tarot deck (sometimes known as the Ryder-Waite, but that’s a whole other story of one woman’s erasure right there). Anyway. I have that deck, which is basically the most well-known of all the decks, and that is why I currently have just that one: I am re-learning.

I’ve mentioned before that I was a lot more fluent in the Tarot when I was younger. This is probably because, as a 16 year old, I had time, no money to do anything else that required leaving the house, and no responsibilities apart from homework and practising musical instruments. Also, my brain was young and had not yet experienced the booze-bashing of my 20s. So I guess my recall was better.

However, today, at 33, I feel more in tune with myself, and I decided a few months ago that it was time to re-introduce myself to my favourite pastime of years gone by. And then I realised that I could barely remember a single card. So I started looking for ‘easy’ ways to learn the meanings of the cards.

A person spreads some tarot cards in their hand.

PSYCH – GUESS WHAT? There is no one easy way. There are just easi-ER ways. Or at least, ways in which we can train our brains and souls to reconnect or connect for the first time with the cards. Here are my 5 top tips for learning the Tarot.

ONE: Get Acquainted with those Babies

Okay, so you’re faced with a full deck of cards. What do you do? You get to know them, of course. That means it’s time to look (like, really look) at each card. With a new deck, I like to do this while I cleanse them in incense smoke. So basically, I take the deck, I shuffle it to get a feel for it, and then I study each individual card before passing it through the smoke, and saying something along the lines of, ‘thank you for being in this deck; may you now be free of all former energies.’ Spend this time connecting with them and looking at the pictures in each card – what does each one say to you? What do you feel from it? This way you can kill two birds with one stone – cleanse them and introduce yourself.

TWO: A Card a Day

The cover of “The Modern Witchcraft Book of Tarot” by Skye Alexander.

I’ve mentioned before that I use the Modern Witchcraft Guide to Tarot, and I suggest you get a book, either that one, or a similar style, that has no-bullsh*t, clear information about the meanings of each card. You don’t have to go with every word in your book – but it will help you when you can reference a card after you’ve looked at it yourself and felt what you can from it. The card a day thing serves many purposes, but there are a few I want to mention in particular:

  • It moves your energy into the deck by touching it every day
  • It gives you a one-card reading before you start your day (or the evening before the next day) that can help guide you
  • It teaches you to recognise cards ON THEIR OWN, so your vision isn’t clouded by others,
  • It gets you into a healthy reading practice.

Use the card-a-day to get into the swing of things, so to speak.

THREE: Suit Studies

Tarot Suit Chart of Associations by Tarot Teachings.

Not a study of suits in the clothing sense, although I do applaud that. I’m talking, pick a suit (Pentacles, Swords, Wands, Cups, etc depending on the deck) and get to know it. Read about it in your book. Read about it on the internet. Each suit refers to a certain part of the human psyche. This handy chart can be found over on Tarot Teachings (click for link) and has been super helpful for me, personally. It explains which suits match up to which elements, parts of our lives, and so forth.

By printing this (or making your own!) and placing it where you are looking at it a lot, you will kind of beat it into your brain what each suit means, which will break the back of learning the Minor Arcana.

FOUR: Break the Major Arcana Down

The ‘Temperance’ car held up above another two cards in a spread.

Perhaps the easiest place to begin is to learn the Majors. There are 22 of these goodies, and each one has specific meanings, both upright and reversed, although, as everything with Tarot, open to your own interpretation and intuition. This super helpful website over at Biddy Tarot has a click-and-reveal for each of the Majors, which can be great if you want a quick-look reference. Learn the Majors, and maybe, for a little while, practise with just those 22 cards until you get a feel for them. Then introduce the rest of the deck, if you feel more comfortable.

FIVE: Do Simple Readings, and What Not to Ask

A deck of Tarot cards spread out face-down on a red embroidered cloth.

There is just one question you shouldn’t ask the Tarot, and that is: the question you literally just asked it. There is no point. You’re going to confuse yourself. The Tarot say what they say; sometimes they’re gentle and sometimes they kick you in the shins and laugh at you. There’s no way around that. So ask your question, listen, and then move on.

But to begin with, stick to easy spreads. Three or four-card spreads are my favourites for quickies, the three-card being one of the easiest:

  1. What is the Past that is relevant
  2. What is the Present situation?
  3. What is the Future of this situation?
  4. (Optional) What can I do to help me to get there?

See? Simple, clear. Don’t ask what your future wife’s name is, or what breed of dog you’re going to get. The Tarot have more to offer than that. What is in my soul? What am I hiding myself from? What do I need to let go of? Do these readings for yourself and for close friends or family – people who will forgive you if you need to check the book. Don’t be charging for this sh*t, okay? You’re only learning. It’s like reading a medical textbook once and then charging money for diagnoses.

The ‘Justice’ Card.

There are so many amazing spreads, and I find a lot of mine on Instagram. There are readers who are MUCH more knowledgeable than I am, and you can learn a lot from listening to them and watching them do a reading. Paige Ferris over at Catalyst Healer does a great regular video reading which is open to everyone, as well as Instagram lives. So head on over there and learn something. There are also a bunch more readers on Insta who are generous enough to read live, so find them and follow them, watch their videos, and then practise.

So I hope this has been helpful – now, go and read your cards, Witches. One day at a time. And I’ve love to know who your favourite readers are!

Blessings,

xxK

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Witchcraft Wednesday: What's the Deal with Poppets?

Welcome to Wednesday, Witches! Today I am going to address the subject of poppets, otherwise known as dollies, pippies, moppets and mommets.

A woman wearing a hat holds a carved wooden doll.

I know that for a long time when I was young, I personally thought poppets were basically the Western version of the “Voodoo Doll”. In pop culture, there is this idea of the Doll as a weapon of torture, and, yes, poppets sure are sometimes used to inflict magic upon someone. However, the humble poppet in yesterday’s and today’s witchcraft is most often used as a way to protect someone through magic, and to bring lovely things into their lives.

Making a Poppet

A pile of colourful hand-sewn poppets.

Poppets can be made from just about anything. A popular way to make them is to use cloth stuffed with herbs that correlate to the intention of the magic (love, prosperity, health, fertility etc) and then to add little characteristics of the person the poppet is to represent. For example, black hair made of wool, or green eyes etc. We also tend to add a taglock, like a lock of hair (or nail clippings, but I would rather work with blood than nail clippings, personally, because they weird me out), and that makes our poppet our person.

Another way of creating poppets is to take a fairly blank-looking doll or toy and make it look more like the person you’re trying to help through magic. For example, even if it’s just a calico blank, you can add hair, eyes, draw on their favourite shirt etc. Tie the person’s favourite scarf around them etc. Don’t let crafting weird you out – anyone with the right intentions can have a go at this.

Nice Things to Do With Your Poppet

Right, so like I said, we’re going to focus on the ‘nice’ poppetry here. This is a lovely bit of safety and love magic, but it’s still best to ask the permission of the person the poppet is representing before you do anything like this. But once you’ve got the all clear and your poppet is ready for action, you could:

Two dolls fully dressed smile at each other.
A tiny chihuahua dog wearing a knitted beanie.
  • Place coins and bank notes around your poppet to encourage prosperity and wealth.
  • Cuddle your poppet to make them feel loved and supported.
  • Dress your poppet in nice clothes (or a uniform, for example, if that poppet is trying to get into the police force etc)
  • Give your poppet lots of nice soothing crystals that relate to your intentions – like rose quartz to bring love (and self-love), and adventurine for prosperity.
  • Put your poppet in a nice comfy bed so they can feel rested and relaxed.
  • Talk to your poppet – tell them how clever and fantastic they are, what a kind person they are, and how funny their jokes are. This can help the person you’re poppet-ing to grow in self confidence and feel good about themselves.
  • Give your poppet the things that you want for that person. Maybe the poppet is you and you’re desperate for a dog. GIVE YOUR POPPET A POPPET DOG AND THEN GIVE THE POPPET DOG A BOWTIE AND A BONE. You get the picture.

As I’ve said before, magic is all about intention. So if you can’t make your own poppet, purchase one from an independent maker. And remember, not all poppets have to be the same. It doesn’t have to be made from cloth or sewn together – in times gone by, poppets were made out of anything from straw to grass to potatoes to wood. Whatever feels right and accessible to you will do for now. Just set your intention, and love on your poppets (and their poppet dogs, and/or poppet babies, and/or poppet houses).

Warning: poppets can be addictive.

Blessings,

xxK

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Synchronicities – Messages from the Universe.

Hello, Witches! Apologies for my tardiness – I was caught up in one of the day jobs yesterday and just didn’t get time to blog. To be honest, it’s been a tough few weeks, and I found driving for a 2 hour return journey and a 4 hour meeting pretty taxing. While I was driving I was listening to Devin Hunter’s Modern Witch podcast for the first time, which I really enjoyed. I’ve just about caught up on The Witch Wave so I was looking for something new to sink my teeth into.

An X-Ray view of puzzle pieces.

What I wanted to write about today was synchronicities – what Pam Grossman calls ‘The Trail of Cosmic Breadcrumbs’, what my mother calls serendipity or kismet. In the Law of Attraction, it’s often said that those synchronicities are due to our putting certain energies out into the Universe, and the Universe bringing those things back to us. For example, when you’re thinking of an old friend and then the song you used to sing together comes on the radio. Or you think of something you used to love to do and suddenly see in the newspaper that there’s a course running locally. It’s those little ‘coincidences’ that I wanted to address, and how our energies work kind of like boomerangs.

A small dog returns a stick to their owner on the beach.

On Hecate’s Night I did a spell to release and receive – release those things that no longer served me to make space in my life for the blessings I want to receive. I do believe that when we hold onto emotional clutter, that our lives become more cluttered as a result. So lately, I’ve been cutting off those dead twigs. Things like people I used to do some freelance work for, but who never paid me – cut off. Or friends who only wanted to hang out to get drunk, or who didn’t carry good energies – cut off. It may seem harsh, but for someone who’s stuck inside their anxious mind like I am, emotional and mental clutter is T O X I C. When you simplify your life, there is less mental noise, and you can begin to truly listen.

An old, rusted pressure gauge.

When I did my spell, I was releasing negative feelings that I was holding onto from a project that kind of went to sh*t this year. It’s still there, and it’s still going to pan out fine, but I caught myself getting weighed down in negative energies and dark feelings about it. So I released those feelings, and literally a week later, things started to pick up again. The news began to come through more and more positive. I don’t think that’s a coincidence, do you? By making space in my mind for positivity surrounding that project, the positive energies began to re-gather. I started to feel fresher and lighter, and the phone calls weren’t so bad anymore. Today, I even had a phone call that made me feel truly positive, and secure in the sense that I do believe it’s all coming together.

A person with a painted face and blue eyes covers their face with their painted hand.

As I’ve said before, the Universe does communicate with us. And if we ask for the wrong thing, or the right thing in the wrong way, Spirit will play tricks on us. If you can get clear in your head on what you want out of your life, and start really listening to what the Universe is trying to tell you, you’d be surprised how many more ‘coincidences’ and happy accidents begin to occur. The thing is, they were always there – you just weren’t looking.

On my trip yesterday, I happened to run into someone I’d been really worried about, in the sense that I thought they might have negative feelings about me. I could have got away without saying hello, but I did, and I was so glad I did. They were sweet and lovely, and all my worry was for nothing. With that little brave step, taking the Universe’s bait, so to speak, I was able to (unexpectedly) lift one small burden off my shoulders. And those little burdens all add up.

A neatly arranged shelf of glass jars in a shop.

Now, a lot of ‘synchronicities’ are also just our smart phones spying on us, so please remember that just because you had a conversation about a handbag and then it popped up in the Black Friday sales, it was a sign. That’s just espionage. We’re talking about genuine messages from the Universe here.

I suppose what I’m trying to say is, don’t close your eyes to the messages that are coming through. Sometimes, if you dream of someone, there’s a reason. Give that person a call, and see if they’re alright. Chances are, they were thinking of you, too.

What synchronicities has the Universe thrown you lately? Tell me over on Facebook.

Blessings, Witches.

xxK

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Boss Witch Fashion Friday: The Historically Inaccurate but Deathly Fabulous Costumery of "Salem"

Greetings, Boss Witches! We made it through another week. A week of working, of cooking meals (ew), of trying to keep our sh*t together. I think we all did great! So I have been rewarding myself by watching Salem on Netflix.

I hadn’t got into this show yet, which is weird, but I do think it was a slow starter that got great. Is it cerebral? NO. Is it wildly entertaining and full of blood and guts and spells? YES. What more do you want?

Elise Eberle as Mercy Lewis in Salem with her girl gang of wild witches.

Now, I must admit to you here that I have dabbled in historic re-enactment in my time. Mostly regency, but I have also posed for a Georgian-era costume book. I am a huge fan of the corset. I am a huge fan of a full skirt, and any excuse for big hair is great in my book.

Ashley Madekwe in Salem.

One of the big things in those re-enactment communities is HISTORICAL ACCURACY. For example, “Did you see Ethel in the Promenade? Her shoes were completely historically inaccurate, and her dress was made of polyester!”. It can be brutal. But I think dressing up is all about fun, so, unless you’re an historian, how about you STFU and let people wear their frocks and britches.

Janet Montgomery in a promo shot for Salem.

Anyway. Back to Salem. This show is about … Salem. And witches in Salem. In the Olde Times. Which means we should be seeing a lot of dark, dreary woollen and linen dresses, boring bonnets and silly buckled hats. HOWEVER. Costume Designer/Genius Joseph A. Porro (who also did The Lizzie Borden Chronicles, FYI), was like, “F*ck that, that’s boring” and brought us some of the most spectacularly Witchy costuming I’ve seen in a good, long while.

We have plunging necklines, we have beading galore – we have a WET LOOK SILK GOWN, I mean, where can I purchase this item, please?!

There is lots of dancing around fires in corsets and nighties, and over the top gowns that look like they should be for being presented at court, but no – she’s just nipping round the Priest’s house. And why the f*ck not, Mary Sibley? You go, Witch. She also sports some pretty bloody impressive headwear, not going to lie.

Janet Montgomery in a still shot for Salem.

I also want to briefly address the rather fabulous capery, which, as you know, is something that is very dear to my heart. Both Janet Montgomery and Ashley Madekwe are serving some Grade-A cloak action in this series. Royal purple? Yes please. Bit of a faux fur lining? YAS.

Meanwhile, we have lovely Tamzin Merchant giving us lovely, innocent Puritan girl in Season 1… but I don’t want to post spoilers so I will just give an honourable shout-out to her adorable tubular curls that peek out from those bonnie sweet bonnets.

A plague doctor mask worn in Salem.

The men are also delivering in this series, with some fine hats and decent britches, but we must also pay tribute to frilly collars, and John Alden’s ridiculous woodsman/Red Riding Hood situation. Additionally, the inexplicably fabulous leather jackets.

I think the point of all this is that television, and costumes, are meant to be fun. So don’t be a Debbie Downer. Just let people wear their corsets and be happy.

Blessings, and have a magickal weekend!

xxK

Sometimes You Have to Force Yourself to Have Fun

Being an adult can be stressful. It’s pretty much stressful for everyone. All of a sudden, you’re in your twenties, thirties, forties, fifties, and so on – there are bills everywhere. We pay for literal water. We pay for heating, streaming providers, we pay for someone to collect our rubbish. We pay tax. And so on.

So if you combine this daily grind and lifelong struggle to get ahead and prosper with the other sh*t that life throws at us (pain, heartache, work stress etc), it’s completely understandable that sometimes we get into a funk.

The first thing that happens to me when I’m in a funk is that I lose interest and motivation. So even though I’m obsessed with a TV show, for example, I just can’t be arsed watching it. Or, even though I know I need to hit 2,000 words a day to get my PhD thesis done, I sit and stare at the laptop screen and listen to a podcast with half of one ear and all of a sudden it’s 4pm and it doesn’t seem worth trying so I give up for the day.

What I have learned in the 15+ years since my anxiety was first officially diagnosed, is that sometimes, you just have to force yourself to have fun. Even if that means writing it on your to-do list. Even if maybe at the time you don’t feel like having fun. F*ck, you don’t even feel like putting a bra on. But if you can – even just for 2 minutes, manage to get yourself to do something that makes you smile, or laugh, or feel good – I promise you, it will take you that one step closer to clawing your way out of the funk.

So here are my Top 5 Ways To Get Out of a Funk by Forcing Yourself to do Something Fun (this title is way too long, roll with me).

1 Dance

I don’t mean like go dancing to a club or anything, although if that makes you happy, by all means. For me, this means putting on songs that make me happy and making like Cristina and Meredith and just jamming the f*ck out for the duration of said song. If I’m not exhausted by the end, I’ll do another one. Dancing is technically cardio, which means it’s good for you. And if you go hard, not only will you burn some calories, if you’re into that, but you will get the blood pumping and the brain releasing those all-important endorphins. This = getting you one step closer to getting out of the funk.

2. Take a luxurious bath in the middle of the day

A wooden tray with a handle contains a bowl filled with green bath salts, which is surrounded by small tumblestone crystals.

Is there anything more decadent than a daytime bath? I think not. For me, the act of running a bath complete with bath bombs/salts/f*ck it, throw some flowers and crystals in there, is the ultimate mood-lifter. For some reason, it feels like a bit naughty? Like you should be doing something more productive but f*ck it, this is your time. Light some candles. Play some music, or (safely) place a laptop or iPad somewhere and watch a whole movie. Keep filling up the hot water until you get pruny. Smell delicious, luxuriate, and emerge like Venus from the ocean.

3. Call your funniest friend

Two people lay on their backs on the hood of an old, rusted car, laughing and talking.

Phone calls seem to be less and less common these days, unless it’s for work, in which case the f*cking phone never stops ringing. So pick up your phone, hit the name in your contacts of the friend who cracks you up the most, and shoot the sh*t. I swear to the Universe, a proper laugh will do you a world of good. Yes, I know you don’t feel like talking to anyone. But after you spend ten minutes laughing with your hilarious mate, you will feel that fizzy inner feeling that makes you more likely to look around you and think, “right, I’d best pick up those 40 cereal bowls in my bedroom, and possibly get rid of some of them forever because who needs 40 cereal bowls in their life?”

4. Go for a walk

A person wearing a black hood walks along a beach.

I know, I know. But it kind of works. I don’t expect you to go anywhere fancy – I’m not saying you have to go hiking or traipse the moors Jane Eyre style. Just get out of the f*cking house or apartment. Like, even just walk to the shops. Walk around the block. Plan your route to include passing by houses you know have doggos in the front yards. Walk through a park, walk past the pub and think, “at least I’m not having a 9am beer!” and then pat yourself on the back but don’t feel superior, we’re talking about ourselves, here, okay? Again, adrenaline is good, and fresh air is good (your Nan was right) so get outside. I promise you don’t even have to have a shower first if you can’t manage it.

5. Animals

A white puppy wearing a neckerchief holds a stick with blossoms on it in its mouth.

Animals are the best thing on the planet and that is just a scientific fact. Dogs are heavenly, saintly creatures who love all creatures and people, and do not judge you, and also will still like you if you haven’t showered. If you are lucky enough to have a resident furred animal in your home, take some time to work on your relationship. Cuddle up. Share some food. Have a chat. You will 100% feel better. If you do not have your own pet, find a friend who does. Or alternatively, go to a park and try not to look scary so people will let you pet and cuddle their dogs.

I hope this has been helpful to you. I know that everyone’s different. If your mental health is suffering badly, please seek help. There is no shame in asking for help or taking it.

In the meantime, I’m going to go and run a daytime bath.

Blessings!

xxK

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Witchcraft Wednesday: The Easiest Ever Freezer Spell

Howdy! It’s Witchcraft Wednesday and again, I wanted to offer up a spell that anybody with access to some basic white goods can do. Alternatively, it’s winter, so I imagine you could also try chucking this into a pile of snow. Let’s get into the festive spirit by getting rid of some of the bad energy coming our way.

This Freeze-Out Spell is for when someone just won’t stop f*cking with your life. Maybe it’s an ex who won’t get the message, or a colleague who is talking sh*t about you at work, or someone who will not lose your number, no matter how hard you try, or a parent who keeps asking you when you’re going to get married. Now, I’m not an advocate of spells that harm people. This is not about hurting someone. It’s about protecting yourself and keeping the negative vibes out of your life.

A soap bubble freezes outside on a branch.

You should also know that this kind of magic originated from African cultures, so please head on over to read more about that here before you try this modern witchcraft version.

Now, let’s get started!

You will need:

  • A freezer-safe container / bag
  • A pen and paper
  • Some Moon water / consecrated water OR vinegar (literally any vinegar)
  • Some tinfoil / aluminium foil

There are slightly more hexy-cursy versions of this spell, which you are welcome to go and find, however for me, I’m just sticking with taking care of me and my family, so I won’t be touching that stuff. The point of this is to slow down (‘put on ice’) someone who is bothering you. As always, please be mindful of your use. F*ck with karma at your own risk.

A rose frozen in a jar.

First, cast your circle. This is optional, but I believe that when we do spellwork we should be really, really intentional about it. And casting a circle, calling on the spirits and the Goddess, is a great way of focusing our intentions inward.

Now that your circle is cast, take the paper and pen, and write in your very best handwriting the full name of the person/s who is/are giving you grief. And then, I write what I want to happen.

For example,

“PENELOPE SMITH will no longer gossip about me.”

or

“JEREMIAH BISCUIT will no longer use my work without attribution”

Now we’re going to cut that piece of paper small, and lay it inside the tin foil (shiny side out). Wrap it up into a tidy little package – this tin foil will act as a mirror, strengthening the magic towards the name.

Place your consecrated liquid of choice (I use Moon water or vinegar) into the vessel you will be freezing, and place the tin foil package inside.

Seal it up, and meditate on it for a while. Really envision this outcome.

Then pop it in the freezer, and voila! Freeze that bad energy the f*ck out of your life.

A lit pink candle with a pentagram carved into it.

There are so many variations on a freezer spell, and I’d love to hear yours. Get in touch, either to send me info on how you like to do your freezer spells, or just to say hi.

Blessings, Witches!

xxK

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Why I Do Feminist Friday

In almost any industry, women can experience every sexism. In my industry, the film and television industry, I sometimes feel I’ve stepped back in time. Early on in my career, I was less confident in myself and I let a lot of things slide that I wouldn’t do these days. I can remember someone more senior to me making some absurdly sexual comment, and I was absolutely mortified. I knew it was inappropriate, but I didn’t feel I could call him out on it. It tore me up inside for weeks, until the next one happened, and then my focus shifted to that.

Playing tiles spell out ‘Equality’

My PhD research is about gender disparity in television production, so I’ve done an awful lot of reading into this particular sector of the workforce. Just because I reference it more, doesn’t mean that I don’t realise it is just as bad in other industries.

In film, there are special and certain gendered things that kind of slip under the radar. For example, if you were to mention ‘The Director’, the person on the other end of the phone would almost certainly respond with, “Who is he?”. Same goes for the Director of Photography, and often the writer. Sometimes the Producer. I was once in a Production Meeting where I was one of two women out of twenty people. Afterwards, one of the producers told me he was happy to see ‘a woman in a position of authority’, like it was something completely f*cking radical. And it drove me nuts. And don’t get me started on people calling the production team, ‘the girls in the office’. Those people work longer hours than anyone else, and often for less money.

Rosie the Riveter

But a few years ago, I bought myself a feminist t-shirt with the idea that I would wear it once a week. It was kind of my little rebellion – dipping my toe into the pond of out and proud feminism. I was a strong feminist in my private life, but I had been too afraid to wear it on my sleeve at work.

In the age of #MeToo and the reckoning that is starting to come upon Hollywood, people are more aware, for the most part. Unfortunately, less than a year ago, I heard of someone on a project making a pro-rape joke to a group of crew members. He didn’t understand what was so un-funny about that. This person was shocked when he was called out on that, as well as the fact that people, women and men, felt uncomfortable working around him.

So I wore the t-shirt, and I bought more t-shirts, and I bought them for other women I worked with. The comments we would get were varied – sometimes it was just, “Nice shirt”. Sometimes it was, “Uh-oh, better watch out, the feminists are here!”

After working with one man for several weeks, he said to me, “I was going to tell you you looked pretty the other night, but, you know. I’m not allowed to do that now.”

That ‘now’ was what pissed me off the most. In what universe had it ever been okay to comment on the visual appearance of virtual strangers? We’re not here for a f*cking beauty contest. It’s great if you want to get dressed up for work. I know I feel better in myself if I wear makeup and feel like my outfit is awesome. But I’m sure as sh*t not doing it so some sexist d*cks can comment on it.

Being a Witch is an interesting position – there is still some anti-male and anti-trans sentiment among the witchcraft community in certain sectors, with this idea that the ‘Witch’ has to be a woman. I don’t subscribe to that whatsoever. I don’t think you have to dress a certain way to be a witch, and I don’t think you have to have been born a woman. Personally, I welcome witches from any background, religion, gender, race, sexual identity, gender identity, planet. As long as you don’t steal other people’s culture, or appropriate their traditions, then welcome.

And for me, I was just feeling it today. So I put on my Feminist Friday t-shirt.

The golden rule, I guess, is: just don’t be an asshole.

Blessings!

xxK

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What Does It Mean When Saturn Returns?

A lightbulb with a succulent growing inside it.

This is another post that was requested by one of my favourite people, my friend Racheal. Rach is in Australia and sends me voice notes, and sometimes those include questions or suggestions for the blog, which I love! Hi, Rach.

One of the most recent things Racheal asked about was ‘Saturn Returning’, and I have to admit, I’d never really heard of it before. But when I started reading about it, it was like a lightbulb went off, and I thought it was definitely worth sharing.

So what does it mean?

People at a concert hold their hands up in heart shapes.

So basically, the planet Saturn takes approximately 29.5 years to make a full circle and return to the position it was in when you were born. So the idea is that we experience a period of extreme personal growth and change between our late twenties and early thirties. Starting to ring a bell? This time in our lives when we start to think about what we really want, the person we want to be. When our friends are getting married and having children, or perhaps you’ve already had some kids or maybe you have six fur babies, but there’s something missing.

An illustration of a person holding their arms up in strength.

If you’re 30 or over, you’d probably say that you’re a completely different person to the person you were at 20, or 24, or even 27. I know that for me (now 33) I feel like I know who I am now. I re-embraced my Witchiness, and I now give zero f*cks what people think about that. I posted a video on Instagram the other day of myself doing a short yoga routine. I am no yogi, and I am no supermodel. But you know what? I didn’t give a sh*t. Because I don’t care what people think about how my body looks. I wanted to share a real moment of my life when my body was aching and I felt sore and tired and my fibroids were giving me grief.

Saturn brings us several traits – change, clarity, the reality of our own mortality. It is also known as the Lord of Karma – this is when we begin to reap what we’ve sown during our twenties. That can be f*cking terrifying, let’s be honest. I can’t say I spent my twenties wisely – if I had, I’d probably own a house or something. But I did work hard in my late twenties. I got my Master’s Degree, I started my PhD. I worked really hard in my career, and I did well, went far. And now that I’m 33, I’m kind of veering out of that Saturn Returning phase, which means my next one will hit sometime between the ages of 57 and 60.

A person with blonde hair and a blank face has a sign over their face reading “Confidence” with three upward pointing arrows.

If you’re in your Saturn Returning phase, now is the time to take stock of your life. What do you want? Are you in a relationship that isn’t healthy? Maybe you’re working your arse off at a job you hate. What did you want to be when you were a teenager? It might be time to start dedicating an hour each night to writing that novel or taking a course online. Meditate on it – figure out who you are now. Let go of the person you were before you ‘grew up’. You don’t have to be that person anymore. Saturn sees through your bullsh*t and will take zero excuses. If you don’t have now what you want for yourself, it’s time to start working for it. You’re still young. The race isn’t over yet, and we all deserve a fulfilling and satisfying life, filled with happiness, love, success.

Whatever your goals are, now is the time to start working for them, if you haven’t already. If you want to buy a home, start saving. If you want a promotion, start figuring out how that can happen. If you’re into planning, maybe try a vision board or a five year plan. Write that script. Paint your art. Build the home you want – maybe you just want house plants and enough money to be comfortable. That is absolutely fine – get there. Maybe you want to move so you can get a dog (okay, that’s deeply personal).

A collection of succulents and cacti on a shelf by a corner window.

I’m not saying it’s easy. Yes, the Law of Attraction is a thing, and a thing I believe in. I’m not the expert on manifestation, otherwise I’d probably be in a different position right now. But I know what I want, and I’m constantly working on the Big Plan to get there.

A dog wears a suit.

All of this does not mean you can’t have fun anymore. I really don’t want you to think that! It’s just that maybe our idea of fun is different now. If you still want to party – party! Just balance it, take care of your body, take care of your priorities and remember that hangovers get way, way worse after the age of about 26 so you need to hydrate.

Get manifesting, friends – start being a go-getter instead of a what-iffer. You have potential, and you have the power within yourself. I believe in you.

Love and blessings,

xxK

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