Okay, I know what you’re thinking: this blog is supposed to be about wellness.
But the purpose of OBW is to start conversations and give blessings and joy to ALL REAL-LIFE BOSS WITCHES. That means you maybe have a full time job, or you’re at home with one to eight babies right now, or you’re caring for someone. Or maybe you’re having a really bad time at the moment (sending love to you) and you just want answers to this burning question:
WHAT DOES A BOSS WITCH WEAR?
Answer: Actually, anything the f*ck you want, witch, because it’s your body, your life and you can wear what you want. It doesn’t matter what everyone else thinks. You should feel comfortable and fabulous and like a Boss Witch at all times. And if you want to wear sweats for nine days straight, guess what? You’re still a Boss Witch. Not interested in doing laundry this week? No problem. Still a Boss Witch. Want to walk around your house naked for three days? That is extremely Boss Witchy, congratulations.
Life is hard, and fashion is one of those things that, for me, brings me a glorious, daydreamy escape. So today, I am going to bring you a feast for the eyes – some aspirational Boss Witch Wear from pop culture, fashion brands I like and the best Boss Witch Characters ever (in my opinion).
AMERICAN HORROR STORY: COVEN
I don’t really like watching horror that much, because really gory and violet sh*t tends to give me nightmares. But my partner loves horror. And I work in making horror content, so that’s a little riddle for another time.
So I agree to give AHS: Coven a go because WITCHES. And boy, was I happy I did. Can we talk about the heavenly joy of giant black hats, big sunnies, thick-heeled ankle boots and the overall AllSaints aesthetic of this series? Can we discuss the overall Boss Witch that is Angela Bassett? Can we look at the gorgeous tailoring on Sarah Poulson? Yes, yes we can.
But for now, just feast your eyes.
All witches love Eva Green, I think? Actually, I think just everyone loves Eva Green. My friend met her once and apparently she is just lovely. So there you go.
Anyway, I digress.
Penny Dreadful is basically Victoriana Boss Witch gospel. If, like me, you are partial to black lace, a high collar, some excellent corsetry and Victorian button boots, then Penny Dreadful is the escape you have been waiting for. It’s dark, it’s good, it’s beautifully written, and the costumes are INSANE. Kudos there to costume designer, Gabriella Pescucci, who, by the way, also designed for The Borgias, which is another very, very pretty and entertaining show, which deals with poison, and therefore counts as Boss Witchy.
THE CHILLING ADVENTURES OF SABRINA
Let’s sidestep the cutesy 1950s/60s vibe for a second. Because I want to look at The Weird Sisters. Again, Victorian influence. Fabulous hair. Amazing makeup. Matching coven outfits. Sorry, is there something not to love here? Also please note that Tati Gabrielle (Prudence) is a style icon. Thank you.
Additionally, I would like to discuss Miranda Otto as Aunt Zelda and just how amazing she is in this pure, 1940s Boss Witch way, with her amazing sunglasses and the way she wears a pencil skirt suit to bury bodies. It’s just generally badass and I love her. See also: Mirando Otto in Cashmere Mafia, which was short-lived and had nothing to do with witches, but also featured Miranda Otto in amazing Boss Witch clothing.
As a little wrap-up to today’s fashion fiesta, I want to reiterate that you can wear whatever you want. But sometimes it’s fun to dress a little Boss Witch to get that outside-inside vibe going. Have a great weekend! Don’t forget to sign up to the OBW newsletter, which comes out on Sunday.
PS – If you’re into dressing up, head over to my friend and fellow Boss Witch Costumier-Saurus’ Etsy page. She is out of stock on silk capes right now (bummer) but often has witchy gems pop up. Enjoy!